Americans are ob-freakin-sessed with bacon. It's become the culinary cocaine of the masses. Label anything "with bacon," "bacon-flavored," or "X-covered bacon" and you've got yourself a marketing win (don't believe me? Check out LateJuly's popular bacon habanero tortilla chips. They're vegan.) There are cooking show episodes devoted to the topic, a #baconweek on Twitter, and enough bacon-touting t-shirts and paraphernalia to fill a mall boutique. Sorry, but loving bacon doesn't make you a foodie. As Gawker begged over three and a half years ago, enough already: It's time for everyone to shut up about bacon.
But we haven't. So why the love affair with bacon? It's not a specific craving for dead animals. It's something called the Maillard Reaction, explained here at the Republic of Bacon. Vegan or no, we all require protein, made of amino acids, in our diets. Almost every food we consume contains protein. But that smell that everyone loves? Nope, it's not specific to dead pig. It comes from the amino acids reacting with reduced sugars under heat, mixed with fat.
The other things we humans seem to enjoy about bacon is the smoky taste... and the salt. If you've ever had pancetta (salty, but not smoked), you've learned that not all bacon contains the same flavor portfolio. You can give almost any food bacon-esque properties if you flavor it right.
So how do you do that? Easy. And it's vegan. Really, I have had people show up to the kitchen door who I've never met before and start drooling, complimenting me on the smell of cooking bacon. /Smirk. Here's how to create compassionate smoky umami goodness without the environmental degradation, saturated fat, or cholesterol.
You need to create the qualities we crave in bacon. Protein, fat, sugar, salt. Pretty basic, yes?
- Protein: Everything's got protein (honest), so just choose your fave, whether it's a packaged faux meat, a traditionally fermented tempeh, or a head of cauliflower sliced into slabs reminiscent of an MRI brain scan.
- Fat: While you can create a reasonably analogous result without excessive fat, we do need fat to function, and our bodies know that. You want the washing machine repairman salivating over the scent of your bacon-broccoli? You need fat to complete the equation. Choose what you will: cold-pressed olive oil, coconut oil, walnut oil, avocado oil, Earth Balance (I usually go with the soy-free variety, reducing soy-overload in my diet).
- Sugar: What?? Why sugar? I don't mean add processed cane sugar to your cooking (though this is a trick many meat products and restaurants actually use regularly, since plain meat doesn't contain sugar, and sugar enhances flavors and gives it a further addictive quality). Many meat analogues contain sugar, either naturally or added. Baconizing a vegetable or grain is going to contain some natural sugar already, so you can skip adding it... you're already a step ahead.
- Salt: Yes, we need salt. Not tons. Not heaping teaspoons. We can obtain most of our sodium needs naturally. But if you're after something that tastes like bacon, you need more. I default to soy sauce/tamari/shoyu for this task. It adds a bit of additional cooking liquid, and can be obtained gluten-free if you have someone with celiac disease in your midst.
- Flavor: Some liquid hickory smoke and a touch of garlic powder round out the seasoning. Experiment with additions like a touch of sriracha or a splash of cider vinegar.
There you have it. My secret "baconize anything" formula. The photo above contains:
- Earthbound Farms baby arugula
- Yves Veggie Canadian Bacon sauteed in soy-free Earth Balance, Colgin liquid smoke, Trader Joe's reduced sodium soy sauce, and a few shakes of garlic powder
- Annie's Homegrown Lemon Chive dressing
Stay tuned for future vegan bacon posts with recipes, reviews, and how-to videos!
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