How-To Be a Sane Vegan in a Savage World

Sounds like a good title? Okay, because really what I want to talk about is how full of random ideas one's head can get in a day:

• Ways to help all the animals in need
• How to create a green vegan arcology
• Vegan meringue (and I don't even like pie)
• What's the best way to introduce vegan concepts to the mainstream public
• Which music to use in my next adventure video
• The price of polenta
• Teaching nutrition without subsidized agricultural bias
• Where I want to open vegan bed & breakfasts
• Why pescetarians pick on the fishies
• What animal my fourth mermaid chapter book is going to focus on
• Accidentally ingesting bioluminescent moon jellies while swimming last summer (gave me hives in my mouth)
• Rabbit food
• Bees
• How to test medical advances without animals (or even humans)

...That's just a handful of stuff that crossed my mind while driving back from work...

Without giving away my best ideas, lol, I find I have to keep a note on my phone and multiple Google docs going to list and organize everything. I have many things I want to create to entertain and improve the world. Many of these focus on vegan ideals and how to promote them in ways that will make them commonplace. But wow there's hardly enough time in the day for a shower and coffee sometimes. And right now I'm starved for IRL conversation with another vegan after a day surrounded by mainstream meat-eaters who mean well but make me fear for the future.

As much progress as vegans are making, striving for a more compassionate world, it can be frustrating. Discouraging. Disheartening. What's the best way to influence the most people for the good of all inhabitants on Earth? My brain feels like this toy plane, crammed with blocks and beads and plastic food and a shiny green Lamborghini Huracan... all of it needing to co-exist together peacefully somehow. And none of it should fly, but we have to do it anyway.

I need some sleep!

How-To Be A Vegan SpongeBob Fan

I remember the first time I ever watched a SpongeBob SquarePants episode. We were vacationing in Florida and one of the kids got sick. This was 5-6 years ago, shortly before their initiation into streaming Netflix on the iPad. Whatever channels the rental house had, that's what they could watch. Enter SpongeBob into our lives...

"Are you ready kids?
Aye, Aye, Captain!
Oooooh...

Who lives in a pineapple under the sea?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Absorbant and yellow and porous is he...
SpongeBob SquarePants!
If nautical nonsense be something you wish...
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
Ready?
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SpongeBob SquarePants!
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPAAAAAANTS!"

I don't know what it is about SpongeBob, Patrick, Squidward and the lot, but it's mindless fun. Gary Takes A Bath is my favorite episode (teleporting snails that meow!) but I also love whenever SpongeBob tries to retake his driver's test at Mrs. Puff's Boating School. Hehe.

So yes, I have made a few SpongeBob lunch bentos over the years.
I should make more when I have the time... and my bento paraphernalia out of storage, hopefully soon!

How-To Answer the Protein Question

It's so cliche by now that most vegans roll their eyes. But we've all heard it:

• Where do you get your protein?
• How do you get enough protein?
• I don't feel good unless I eat a lot of protein.
• Maybe some people can do it, but *I* NEED to eat meat for the protein.
• Adults might be okay, but kids need meat for the protein.

Most of the time, these people aren't interested in facts. They don't seriously want to look at a chart comparing vegan versus animal sources of protein. They don't care that broccoli has more protein per calorie than beef. They don't want to hear about world records in sports being shattered by folks eating plant-based diets.

They do want an excuse to continue eating what tastes good to them. They don't want guilt. They don't want to change their habits. They want to keep doing what they're used to. It's comforting.

This post isn't about how to arm them with knowledge or inspire them to take action to change. This is about what you can say--a few helpful one-liners--to end the conversation on the topic. Because enough with the protein question already!

Shut them down with one of these:

• How do the biggest land mammals alive get their protein? Plants.
• Which were the biggest dinosaurs ever to inhabit the Earth? Herbivores.
• How do the animals that omnivores eat get their protein? Usually plants.
• My PBJ on whole wheat bread has more protein than your hamburger.
• You need .8 grams of protein per kilogram of body weight... Just walk away while they do the math.

Oh yah, and double eye-roll for the deserted island scenario!

How-To Make Quick Vegan Breakfast Food

I am a non-traditionalist when it comes to breakfast... if I eat it at all. But I have 4 kids. I know how important breakfast can be for many people. If you don't prefer leftover cold pizza or curry for breakfast like me, there are plenty of quick "normal" options you can create at home with minimal effort. Older kids can make these themselves, freeing you up for coffee, commuting, worrying about work, whining under the blankets, etc...

• Cereal - Good old cold cereal can be reasonably healthy if you choose a variety with little or no sugar. Top with fruit, chopped dates, nuts, and your favorite non-dairy milk.
• Granola - Personally, I eat granola for dessert at night. But it's tasty and filling in the morning too. Add unsweetened shredded coconut. Or mix it with vegan yogurt. 
• Quick Oats - If you like oatmeal, quick oats only take 1 minute in the microwave, and they're super cheap, even when buying organic. Add water or non-dairy milk, any add-ins you enjoy, and nuke for 1 minute. Chia seeds, cinnamon, and a blob of jam (stirred in after cooking) are favorites with my kids.
• Fruit - Easy peasy. A bowl of melon, fresh berries, a banana or apple. Need extra protein and/or fat to fill you up? Nut butters and shredded coconut work well.
• Toast or Bagel - Add nut butter, avocado, Earth Balance, nutritional yeast... use whole grain bread and you've got a hearty meal.
• Breakfast Sandwich - Sandwiches are my favorite, for any meal. It's also an easy way to add vegetables and extra protein to the beginning of the day. Mix and match whatever fillings you've got handy.
• Breakfast Quesadilla - Two tortillas and some filling in a pan, flip, done. 
• Tofu Scramble - This needn't be complicated. Break up firm tofu, saute with or without oil in a nonstick pan with a splash of vinegar and herbs and/or greens. In a hurry? Place in a wrap with avocado or greens and take it with you.
• Muffins - If you plan ahead, you can grab a muffin from the freezer and let it thaw overnight, or mix up the batter before bed, then pop it in the oven in the morning. Grab and go.
• Smoothie - Liquid calories have been proven less filling, but whatever floats your breakfast boat. Smoothies are a portable sweet high-calorie breakfast option. Easily customizable, you can disguise almost anything in one. Get yourself a good blender and keep chopped fruit ready to go in the freezer. 

Think outside the box for breakfast, or as I remind my kids (from the 1990 film Pump Up The Volume): "Eat your cereal with a fork, and do your homework in the dark."

How-To Use A Vegan Deodorant

Sweating is healthy. Smelling bad... not so much. Body odor is caused by bacteria. Not harmful, but not pleasant either. You can find deodorants that are not also antiperspirants, but you also need to find one made by a company that doesn't test on animals, and preferably isn't packed with a bunch of chemical crap.

And it needs to work.

Luckily, there are many options. With a little trial and error, you can find a simple solution for what works best for you:

• Store-bought deodorant - PETA's list for men & VeganCuts deodorant roundup
• Homemade deodorant pastes - Here is an easy 4-ingredient recipe 
• Tea tree oil - Just dab it on, full-strength or cut with water (It works really well, if only I weren't allergic!)
• Lemon - Yep. Just lemon. Works marvelously. Rub it on 1-2 times per day. One small lemon lasts me the week.

That was easy! Now you smell good!

How-To Not Be Perfect and Be Vegan

Let's face it... once you've been vegan for awhile, you've likely been subjected to an utterly useless conversation with someone attempting to nitpick everything from the source materials of components in your laptop, to bugs accidentally splatting on your windshield as reasons why we can never truly be completely vegan.

Being vegan isn't about being perfect. Veganism is about doing the least harm possible to the best of our abilities. And this isn't the same for everyone, since we all lead different lives in different places with different options. We can all strive for an ideal, but no one of us is perfect.

I was reminded about this subject today while reading 5 Life Traps Surfers Should Avoid on The Inertia. The first piece of advice is not to let surfing rule your life. Some folks say the same about veganism, occasionally straying from veganism where it is convenient to them. But respecting life is not about convenience. And neither is surfing. If you want the best waves, sometimes that means getting up at 5am and driving 2 hours before you'd normally get up so you can still make it to work on time... maybe. And maybe remaining vegan at work means spending extra time in the morning packing your own lunch for that employee appreciation barbecue. How does that saying go? If it's important, we find a way. If it's not, we find excuses.

Both surfing (or bodyboarding and swimming for me) and veganism are lifestyles. Both are concerned with ocean conservancy, the environment, and health. But veganism originates from a moral imperative. I can reluctantly set the ocean aside and do other things, but I can never simply set my vegan morals aside. I feel both internally and externally obligated to cause the least harm possible to all tenants of our world. Once you understand and embrace a vegan lifestyle, you can never go back.

There are other parallels from the article I enjoyed, such as "Don't try to be a surfer." Don't try to be a vegan? This is getting too Yoda... Do or do not, there is no try. Often people new to veganism end up accidentally buying food with whey, or a leather belt, and they become discouraged. Just get up the next day having learned from your experience and make better choices at the next opportunity!

Don't pull back. Really. Don't go back to being vegetarian or flexitarian or pescetarian (what do those terms even mean anyway besides "sort of" caring about a select bunch of animals). Go vegan, stay vegan, and if you need help along the way there are millions of people out there willing to offer support and advice.

Avoiding social media is probably not good advice for a new vegan. It is one of the best ways to find information and encouragement. It is also the best way to feel inadequate. Your dinners don't need to be Zagat-rated museum-worthy creations, your activism needn't contain gruesome slaughterhouse images, and you don't have to live off the grid in a solar-powered yurt to live a green lifestyle.

Do the best you can. Read. Learn new things. Compete only with yourself. You'll never be perfect, and that's okay. That's not what it's all about.

How-To Pop Corn

It's Independence Day here in the United States, so I considered doing a depressing post about how fireworks aren't environmentally friendly, plus it's so hard to find out if the magnesium stearate used in them is vegan or not. Fireworks are one of those strange ubiquitous cultural activities that are not worth boycotting... we need to work on finding greener ways to make them so the show can go on.

What else explodes?? Popcorn! And we made some this evening to take with us to watch fireworks. You can pop corn many ways simply using the kernels and popping them yourself. Methods you can use:

• a brown paper bag in the microwave
• an air popper
• a microwave popper
• a foil packet over a grill or campfire
• a pot or covered wok on the stove

Tonight we used the wok: